Gay gold star

In LGBTQ slang, a " gold star lesbian " is a lesbian who has never had sex with a man, and a " gold star gay " is a gay man who has never had sex with a woman. The terms can be joking, sincerely held identities, or stereotypes within the LGBTQ community. "'Gold-star gay status' is a term that Andy Cohen used to describe his sexuality. He said that he’s gay, and he’s never been with a woman, so he’s not just gay — he’s gold-star gay," Masini.

The "gold star gay/lesbian" (or, as I like to call them, rebranded Super Straights) is bigoted against trans and multisexual (bi, pan, omni, etc.) people. They assume that genitals define gender and, seeing that there's already a huge problem with transphobia and TERFism in the cis lesbian community, has led to a lot of hate against trans women.

A gold star gay is actually “a person who has never had sex with a person of the opposite sex” – though this term is increasingly outdated because, let’s be honest, you can still be gay even if you’ve slept with other genders in the past. From platinum star gays to fat rabbits, this week’s Queer Urban Dictionary breaks down two cheeky queer slang terms you’ll want to know (and maybe use).

Use this column as a jumping off point for your own reflection and conversation in the comments. For a year. In , the term made its way onto the original L Word series. There are plenty of lesbian women, trans folks, and intersex folks with different genital setups. Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Follow Ro on Twitter.

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Thanks for this thoughtful article! This was right around the time she started being a bigger pile of shit by punching down on trans women. This gold star ish is so cringe. You know what? No regerts! The more generally homophobic a country, the more gay men and women will be with the opposite gender because they feel they have to, family pressure etc. I have never slept with a man but I would never think that makes me better or more valid than other lesbians.

Thoughtful article, appreciated the breakdown of information like this. This was an interesting article. What do you want, a gold star or something? And with the current mostly online queer discourse being rooted in the assumed inherent sexual fluidity and openness of everyone and the superiorty in being more sexually fluid , it always stings a bit when people dismiss the experiences of monosexual queers.

I always assumed it was a cheeky joke amongst lesbians. Hi, Michelle! Thanks for engaging with my column! Thanks for this article! It was a different time back then and would have meant so much to younger me to read this article! I just?? I have also seen this term be used against rape survivors — namely back in college in the s a whole lot of people seemed to think it was ok to tease survivors for not being gold stars when they in no way consented, thus both directly bringing up their trauma and re-traumatizing them but also implying their lesbian identity is somehow lesser because they were attacked.

I stumbled on this article when checking my Google Alerts. Great article, and thank you for addressing it! Before you go! If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Ro White Ro White is a Chicago-based writer and sex educator. Ro has written articles for us. You May Also Like Mini Crossword for Your Consideration.