Retarded and gay
Saying someone is intolerable is not an identity slur; saying someone is gay in place of intolerable or other descriptive words is an identity slur. In my last article, I discussed “Gay” and “Fag” as sexual identity slurs. Here, I will address “Bipolar” and “Retarded” as disabled identity slurs. The feature structures coding gay [happy] and gay [homosexual] must state that it selects for something that is +animate, whereas the one for gay [stupid] does not require that feature.
Same for retarded: retarded [mentally disable] requires animacy, whereas retarded [stupid] does not. That is, you end with the following. Twenty-six percent of gay men and 40% of bisexual men disclosed having a disability, as did 36% of lesbians and 36% of bisexual women. Research from the Movement Advancement Project estimated that 3 to 5 million LGBTQ people live with one or more disabilities.
When you use ‘gay’ or ‘retarded’ in the pejorative, you are insulting that group of people because whether consciously or not, you are saying that it is not okay to be gay, or that it is bad to be mentally disabled.
Anyone else feel like you're fighting a losing battle when it comes to teaching kids not to call each other 'retard' or 'gay'? How do you discourage this?. Facebook is critical to our success and we could use your help. It will only take a few clicks on your device. But it would mean the world to us. Once there, hit the Follow button. Hit the Follow button again and choose Favorites. Through A City Education , City Year corps members share their experiences working as tutors and mentors in schools in hopes of closing the opportunity gap and ending the dropout crisis.
Words are powerful. When first spoken, they signify a major developmental milestone. When first read, they can float off the pages in a story and connect the very first concepts learned in school. They're the building blocks for every relationship and interaction in life. But, at some point words can be misunderstood — losing their true meanings or being used to tear other people down.
The words "retarded" and "gay" have snuck their way into our everyday language and have adapted a negative connotation. I've heard everyone from educated and wealthy businessmen to my well-traveled peers use them. I realized that these were just blanket terms for people, masking their intended message. To much of society, they may not seem like a big deal because they're not words that are originally rooted in hate.
They may not seem like a big deal because you're not often reprimanded when you use them. But, addressing the use of these words is especially important in schools, where language is developed. During my first service year with City Year San Antonio, I served as a mentor and tutor to high schoolers in one of the most vibrant and welcoming communities I've ever been a part of.
I didn't notice many similarities to my own high school experience but some things sounded familiar. That's so retarded! I look gay. One time I was standing just outside the cafeteria when I saw a student with severe developmental disabilities accidentally bump into one of the seniors. The senior shouted the R-word at him, laughed, and ran up the stairs. In the midst of trying to get my students to show up to school regularly , stop them from getting into fights, improve their grades , prompt them to think about their future , how could I also going to change the way they think about language and get them to develop empathy?
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Students say these two words so often that people don't think twice about it. But, it's not just the kids who say those words, and it's important to realize that they don't just learn them on their own. Unlike so many other things, words don't discriminate against age, class, or education. Hurtful words can flow just as easily out of the mouth of the middle-aged businessman as they can out of the mouth of a ninth grader in an inner-city school.
And, while people don't always use these words maliciously, we can't allow it to be acceptable in one context and inappropriate in the other. We need students to understand that using hurtful, hateful words, even if they are not directed to anyone in particular, is still wrong. It's even more important that we're consistent because the normalization of these words and the inconsistent way we reprimand them can result in a generation numb to the consequences of what they say.
Before you think about using them, are the color of those pants really "gay? Not only does using these words in a negative context degrade those who may identify with them, but they perpetuate the notion that it's okay to say whatever you want because it's not what you really mean.